The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
A few weeks before Ash Wednesday, I reflected on what I should choose as my Lenten sacrifice, challenging myself to pick something with a lasting impact over giving up food or candy that I know I will immediately start eating again come Easter Sunday (hello, jellybeans).
My husband and I were also excitedly expecting our first child, confiding in only our closest friends and family. In the span of one day, those joys turned into fear and then devastation. We had suffered a pregnancy loss. Overwhelmed by grief, my thoughts about my Lenten sacrifice suddenly soured. I felt any small changes I could make throughout the liturgical season were trivial and paled in comparison to the loss we were experiencing. What more could I possibly sacrifice that hasn’t already been taken from me?
My natural skepticism and pessimism often serve as a comfort to me — they act as a cozy pair of sweats I can slip into when life becomes hard. In them, I find my hopes cannot be dashed, mostly because I never let them get too high in the first place. Now, when I needed these comfort items the most, I pulled them out from the metaphorical drawer to find them ragged and worn; what has offered me relief in the past no longer fits.
I know I can’t be alone navigating this new territory. Between the turmoil I’m witnessing today and its impact on vulnerable communities, finding comfort is difficult. Still, today’s psalm hit my heart like a clear bell: “From all their distress God rescues the just… The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.” Right now, I feel brokenhearted and crushed in spirit. So do many others in our circles — both those who receive help through our programs and our fellow team members. Still, across our Catholic Charities network, we continue to work toward justice together.
A pastor once recommended turning Lenten sacrifice on its head and looking not only at what it is taking away but also what it is adding to your life. This year, I’m giving up despair and choosing hope that things can and will get better. I’m giving up doubt and trading in faith that God will provide. I’m letting go of fear and adding trust, knowing that thousands of people across our network are dedicated to caring for those in distress. We may feel crushed, but we also have work to do.
Natasha Nelson serves as the Director of Development at Catholic Charities of Southern Nevada in Las Vegas.