Offering Comfort and Support It was through his work at Hope House that Suttles truly saw the effects of the disease close-up. It wasn’t until after his first AIDS buddy, Jimmy, died that he learned how desperate the situation had been. Through the family friend who cared for Jimmy, Suttles learned that the very day when he first connected with them the friend was considering ending both of their lives out of desperation and hopelessness. The confession remains with Suttles and often fills his mind with ‘what ifs.’ He answers them all with a reflection that is the norm for Suttles, “There must have been a guiding force at work, greater than all of us, helping us as we stumbled along.” Today, Suttles spends about 30 hours each month in voluntary support of the mission and work of Hope House. While the AIDS Buddy program no longer exists, the weekly support group he has facilitated since 1993 for men with HIV/AIDS has absorbed his time. “The support group is a lifeline,” says Bob Armstrong, who joined the group when he was first diagnosed with AIDS in 1995. “I know that a number of the guys in my group would not be alive without the kind of support that Ray has allowed to happen in the group.” Providing a Voice “His role is advocating for clients,” says Diane Silbernagel, executive director of Hope House. “He gives them hope. He absolutely gives them hope. Hope that they have a voice and they will be heard and that they make a difference. Concrete validation that they are important.” And, to help his HIV/AIDS clients, like Bob Armstrong, find their voice and learn to advocate on their own behalf, Suttles organized a series of trainings to prepare them to attend the AIDS Watch 2008 this week in Washington, DC, and speak before a congressional panel about HIV funding in 2009. “If nothing else, I want the senators and representatives from the state of New Jersey to realize how the pending bills can affect the lives of our clients,” says Suttles when speaking about what he hopes to accomplish through the advocacy efforts. “The clients bring a face, a name, and a story to the legislation.” Improving access to affordable heath care is a key component of Catholic Charities USA’s Campaign to Reduce Poverty in America. In addition to his duties with the support group and his advocacy efforts, Suttles volunteers to staff a client advisory board at the agency; oversees the monthly HIV consumer newsletter’ helps with all HIV-related events and fundraisers’ and works with HIV families supporting both parents and children of HIV positive clients. He also volunteers to staff a client advisory board at the agency. He also facilitates an AIDS Resource Roundtable for the local HIV providers to foster collaboration and improved services for clients and volunteers as a member of the Tri-County HIV/AIDS Task Force. Relying on his professional experience from a 27-year career of civil service as a management consultant with the Army, Suttles dedicated over 50 hours per week for nine months in 2006 to assist the Hope House team in preparing for their first Council on Accreditation certification. He not only provided structure and guidance, but also the sense of humor needed to keep everyone on task through the site visit at the agency. The organization passed the accreditation peer review with flying colors. Creating Ripples of Hope Suttles and Loretta, his wife of 47 years, and three children, have moved many times, and he was always seeking a church where he felt at home, one that was non-judgmental. “It wasn’t until I went to Hope House and worked with the clients and colleagues there that I found that non-judgmental support that I was seeking in a church home,” says Suttles. Suttles often thinks about how Brad made such a difference in the lives of so many just by motivating him to act. The fact that his friend lived and died with AIDS is certainly the reason that Suttles arrived at the door of Hope House. “It’s too bad I can’t tell Brad what his living and dying have done. He touched so many lives,” says Suttles. “The ripples he set off go on and on.” If you ask any of the clients, staff, or community members who know Suttles through his work at Hope House, you will find that those ripples continue and they remain in motion because of the tireless efforts of this man who refuses to give up and insists on believing in the power of hope for all. “We are all children of God, all deserving of His love and each other’s love and support,” says Suttles referring to why he continues to volunteer at Hope House. “To give anything less is just not within the teaching that I have learned.”
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